#musicmajorproblems

I think I was somewhere around eleven years old when I decided I wanted to major in music.  It just seemed the natural thing.  I loved the piano so much that it hurt, and I was good at it.  I couldn't go a day without singing, and I was good at that, too.  Bam. Music major. Done.

Well, as you all know, I changed my mind about my major more than a few times after that.  Recently, I changed it again, and I am officially a mass communications major.

I really am excited about what lies ahead in the field of mass communications.  But for one whole year, I was a music major.  Here's some of what it taught me.

• Music can make you feel a thousand different emotions at once.  If a cello solo doesn't make you cry, I really don't understand you.
• If you're not practicing, you should be.
• You can't just throw the word "classical" on any instrumental music before the twentieth century and expect not to get dirty looks from everyone in the music building.  Are you talking Renaissance? Baroque? Romantic? Symphony? Chamber music? Song without words? C'mon, people.
• Two weeks of aural skills will change the way you hear music forever.  
• Do not correct any music major concerning anything about music unless you want to get shanked.
• You thought music literature would be your easy class? Hahahahahahahahahaha
• Trust what you feel and take chances with it.  Music is art.
• Nine classes is a light load.
• Hard work does pay off.  Even five minutes of purposeful practice can make a huge difference.  Don't slack, and don't do anything halfway.  If this isn't what you love to do, don't do it.
• The most desirable superpower is perfect pitch.
• Someone will always be better than you.  Don't let that discourage you; instead, let it inspire you.
• I've heard it said, "If you love music, don't major in music."  While I don't agree, I see where this is coming from.  It's easy for music to become work.  Don't let it.  Don't forget to love it, to enjoy it.  Listen to all kinds of music.  Go to every concert you get the chance to attend.  Don't lose your passion.

It's going to be sad not to be a music major anymore, and I'm glad that I am keeping the music minor so I can keep hanging out with my musical family in the Porter lounge.  I always wanted to study abroad, but I couldn't afford it... so I'm so blessed and thankful that I got to spend a year in the land of the music majors.  Maybe I'll go back one day.

By Definition

Since registering for my first semester of college two and a half years ago, I have changed my major five times. Five.

The fifth change (Music Education to Mass Communications)  was made a couple of weeks ago during the most stressful week of the semester thus far.  Truth be told, I was a wreck.  Drowning in projects, midterms, quizzes, and the realization that it would take me until spring of 2017 to graduate with a music degree, I felt that I was one breath away from breaking.  

No matter how many times my mom told me that it didn't matter how long it would take me to graduate, I could not shake the feeling that it was not right for me to stay in school for nearly four more years for music.  I asked myself the question, "Why are you doing this?"  and the answer was this:  While it's true that I would love to teach private piano lessons and be a worship leader, neither of those roles require a degree.  I have always known that.  But oh, how much I wanted to be able to say that I was a good enough musician to get a degree in music.  Just to feed the beast- a.k.a., my pride.  I will readily admit that I often let playing music become an idol.  

Well, you know how I feel about idols.  When you see them, tear them down, rip them out, burn them to the ground, whatever it takes.  If it takes an arrow to my pride and another change of major and career path, I believe it's worth it.  It's far too easy to let an idol darken my life.

It's also too easy for me to underestimate God's plan for me.  I get it into my head that I have to be one thing- I make myself into "The girl who."  You know.  The girl who sings.  The girl who plays the piano.  The girl who makes good grades.  The girl who knows exactly what she is supposed to do.  The girl who does the right thing.  

So what happens when I hit a wrong note?  When I do poorly on a heavily-weighted midterm?  When I don't know what I want to do when I grow up?  When I make a mistake, or a hundred?  What does that make me?  The girl who fails, that's what.

That's the problem with putting your self-worth in what you can do.  It doesn't allow for a bad day.  It doesn't allow you to be human.  

This may sound crazy, but maybe- just maybe- God created each of us with more than a one-sentence definition.  Maybe we can be defined by the name He gives us, and the worth we have in Him, instead of by the labels that we place on ourselves.  Maybe He makes us more than the 160 characters that fit on our Twitter profiles.  Maybe the opinions of others have absolutely no effect whatsoever on who we are in Him.  

That's what I believe.  So yes, the truth is that I'm not the best singer or pianist or songwriter or whatever.  I don't always make good grades.  I don't know exactly what I want to do after college.  And I mess up every single day.  By the standards of this world, that might make me the girl who fails...but the standards of this world are not relevant.  

I am the daughter of the King, and by His standards, I am loved.

I am redeemed by the Savior.  I am chosen.  I have worth.  

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. 
The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know Him. 

- 1 John 3:1 -