With a Fervent Heart

Something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately is the power of prayer.  I guess in the last few years I have become pretty casual with my prayers, and that is something that God has been changing in me recently.  The thing is, a lot of times I don't feel like there is a problem in my prayer life because I talk to God a lot.  Many of my thoughts are prayers.  I am very glad that I have that kind of relationship with God- I truly do feel the friendship that Christians are promised in Romans 5:11.  However, there are times when I get so comfortable with that friendship that I neglect the fact that He is my Lord.  It is so tremendously important to spend time bowed on both knees, focused on only Him, and praying with a fervent heart.

 Even though I don't always notice immediately when I haven't been praying as I should, I definitely notice when I have.  I cannot stress the power of prayer enough.  When I spend time genuinely praying and listening to God- His Word is only one of the ways that He uses to speak in our lives- it is evident in every single area of my life.  It blows my mind.  What's more, He rarely answers my prayers in the ways that I would expect.  Though it doesn't always feel this way, God truly does always answer my prayers with a better response than I could ever have come up with on my own.  Trust me on this- God is really cool.  It's not like He answers our prayers in a way that we always have to just miserably trust that it's His will and kind of wish that things could have gone a little differently.  No, He wants us to have joy.  He is really cool.  He answers prayers even about the things that you don't think would matter to Him.  You matter to Him.

Only a few weeks ago, I found myself in kind of a desperate place.  Sometimes it doesn't take any specific event to break your heart- you just realize one day that has been damaged so much that now it is definitely broken, even shattered, and you are left picking up the pieces.  That's where I was.  This may sound crazy or cliché, but sometimes that is honestly the best place to be; that is, if you decide to give those pieces of your heart to the God who made them and let Him place them perfectly together. 
It was at this desperate place that I began to pray fervently.  I began to plead.  It is not really in my nature to plead, and I don't usually plead to God- but I have been doing that a lot more often lately.  Not just that once, either.  I am asking for His help that He make it a habit of mine to pray passionately and constantly. 

The peace that overwhelms me during these prayers is indescribable.  It is not only spiritual, but physical- even my breath comes easier.  I want to challenge you to try it.  If you're lost for words, start with the prayer that Jesus lays out for His followers in Matthew 6.  Take the time to put it in your own words and hold nothing back. 

Sometimes it doesn't make sense to pray.  After all, God already knows our hearts.  Even so, when He instructed us to pray, He knew what He was doing.  Even Jesus prayed, and we ought to follow in His footsteps. 
Sometimes it's scary to pray.  Confessing sins is scary- but our God is forgiving.  Asking for big things is scary- but our God is able.  Resisting temptation is scary- but our God is strong.  Asking for a change of heart is scary- but our God is loving.
Sometimes it doesn't feel like prayer is working.  I feel that in my own life sometimes- actually, a lot.  There is one person in my life for whom I have been praying for about 13 years.  I've tried changing the way I word my prayers. I've tried to pray more specifically. I've tried to pray more often.  I've tried to somehow pray harder.  I've tried to give up.  I've tried to get other people to pray.  It is the most discouraging thing that I know, and it brings tears to my eyes to think of it.  I don't understand why my prayers have not been answered in the way that I long for, but I know that God is just.  I know that He hears my prayers and that He knows my struggle.  I trust that He is doing a great thing. 
Sometimes it feels like it's too late to pray.  That's something that has been coming up a lot lately in the context of the terrible massacre in Connecticut.  But I believe with every ounce of me that it is more important to pray now than ever before.  People need Christ.  We need the peace of God.  There is no better way to come closer to the Lord than through prayer.  What an awesome thing it is to know that in the midst of tragedy, we worship a God who is good, who is the Healer, who is omnipotent.

When we pray to God, we access a Power that is unlike anything we have ever held in our human hands. That is nothing to be casual about.  Pray with a fervent heart.

The Lord hears His people when they call to Him for help.  

 He rescues them from all their troubles. 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; 

He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 24:17-18 (NLT)

Healing Wounds

Let's get a little personal this time, shall we?

Something I would guess that most people don't know about me is that I struggle a lot with insecurity.  I'm not sure of where it stems from exactly.  Something about my nature, though, is like a huge screaming target for Satan to shoot arrows of self-doubt at.  That's my weakness. I doubt myself constantly.  My abilities, my appearance, my actions, my words, my relationships... you name it, I've probably felt extremely insecure about it at some point, and maybe I still do.

I'm reading a book right now called So Long, Insecurity by Beth Moore.  One of my dearest friends loaned it to me at just the right time and God is really using these words in my life.  

Beth Moore is a beautiful woman of God who has changed a huge number of lives with her teaching and passionate messages about who God is and who He wants us to be.  I wouldn't ever imagine that she would have a need to feel insecure about anything.  She's awesome, funny, gorgeous, and God is using her in big ways.  But as I read what she has to say, I realize that she has had a terrible struggle with insecurity throughout her entire life.  Well, blow me down.

Something I would guess that most people do  know about me is that I am a perfectionist.  I'm that way about everything- grades, music, relationships, etc.  I want to do it all right the first time.  But I don't do it all right the first time.  Does anyone?  If someone does, tell me who it is and I'd like to steer clear of them so that I don't feel even worse.  Mistakes break me.  That's my pride showing itself all over the place, and I'm very well aware of that.  But Beth Moore wrote something in her book that I found very interesting.  She said, "Insecurity's best cover is perfectionism.  That's when it becomes an art form."  

I always wondered how I could be insecure and a perfectionist at the same time.  Well there ya go.  It boils down to insecurity.  I haven't finished the book yet, but I'm thinking it's going to boil further down to pride.  The incessant need to be perfect? Uh, yeah, that's got 'pride' written all over it.  I'm also seeing a fall coming pretty soon.  What was that verse?  Oh, yeah...

Pride goes before destruction -Proverbs 16:18

Great.

Anyway, back to my point- there is one, I promise.  The thing is, there are a lot of times when I really let this insecurity thing get to me.  I let that arrow pierce my heart and stay there so that I can't heal.  Then I feel bad for letting Satan get me down, so I'm ashamed and hesitant to ask God for help.  But how much sense does that really make?  Let's be honest- on my own, I am the farthest thing from perfection.   On my own, I have every reason in the world to be insecure.  On my own, I'm nothing.  The only reason that I can be secure in myself at all is because God, who is Perfection, has created me and His Holy Spirit dwells within me.  

Something tells me that I'm not the only person who struggles with this.  So if you're struggling, too, this is my challenge to you, and the challenge that I am taking myself-  let God heal you.  I know that's easier said than done.  Even so, dive into His Word and ask Him to remove that arrow from your heart and mend the wound.  Ask that He place an assurance within you of His power and strength and His love for you, and let that be your shield from any more of Satan's arrows.  And to prevent that destruction that Proverbs mentions, ask that God would humble you so that you have pride only about Christ.

^"As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died."

 -Galatians 6:14

God created you.  He loves you.

Find your security in Him.  Let Him be your resting place, your Healer, your Peace.

"He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.

By His wounds you have been healed."  

-1 Peter 2:24

Irrevocably.

I've been told all my life that God loves me.
Yeah, I'm that girl.  The one who grew up in church and asked Jesus to live in her heart at the ripe age of four years old.  I've had my fights with doubt, impatience, temptation, and obedience just like anyone else.  But one thing I never struggled with was God's love.  Even when my faith in God would waver, I knew one thing- if there was a God, whoever He was loved me very much.  Blessed assurance-  I've always had it.

It took me nineteen years to realize that God loves me in so many ways that He truly can fill every longing in my heart.  All this time, I've been calling Him "Master," "Savior," "Father," "King."  I am so very thankful that He is all of these things.  But do you see a common theme?  All of these names carry the connotation of power over a helpless individual.  He is indeed all-powerful, and I am indeed helpless outside of His strength.  I realized today, though, that I have been so wrapped up in how unworthy I am of His love and mercy that I have been unwilling to truly accept His passionate love.  I accepted only the love of a good Master to a slave, a glorious Savior to a trapped victim, a kind Father to a child, a merciful King to a peasant.  Those are great loves.  They've kept me in awe and will continue to do so forever.  God is the Author of every love, though, and He has even more to offer than what I had realized before.

"When that day comes," says the Lord, "you will call me 'my husband' instead of 'my master.'" 
-Hosea 2:16 (NLT)

This is the Lord's promise to unfaithful Israel.  This is a promise that the Lord, in all His beautiful glory, made because He is Love itself.

It has never occurred to me that God could fill even that place in my heart that longs desperately for the love of a husband to a wife.  It was only by divine revelation that I realized the beautiful truth that as I mature, my God is able, and wants, to fill every desperate longing of this young woman's heart.  The Lord is completely, passionately, irrevocably in love with those who accept His grace and fall into His merciful arms.

I am so unworthy.  I fall short of His glory by my very nature.  But I am learning now to accept the ardent and unfailing love that He has to offer now that He has washed me clean of my sins.

"For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain.  My covenant of blessing will never be broken," says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

~Isaiah 54:10~