Thursday, March 27, 2014
This blog is MOVING!
After doing some research and trying it out, I've decided that a Wordpress site is better suited to my style of blogging. So I have started a new blog called MOMENTS OF CLARITY (click that link), where I will be posting about once per week. Find me there!
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Hallelujah.
Two hours ago, I sat on my bed, completely still. My eyes closed and head bowed over my guitar, I simply absorbed the peace of that quiet moment. The only sound was the clock ticking, my steady breathing, and the remnants of that last hallelujah still ringing in the air.
I've been under attack this week. In keeping with the theme of my last post... arrows have been flying. Sharp, flaming arrows that instill doubt, insecurity, fear, anger, guilt, and desperation in any heart they pierce. They've been flying, and I got hit.
Recently I wrote about a verse in Psalm 91, which says not to be afraid of Satan's arrows. But I never said the arrows wouldn't strike. I've been struck down more times than I can count, but I have nothing to fear because God revives me. He does.
But it still hurts to get knocked down.
"When Satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there, who made an end of all my sin."
It's so easy to be consumed with the "what if's."
What if this doesn't work out the way I planned?
What if I get hurt?
What if I mess up?
What if I'm not good enough?
I've been running from those questions for as long as I can remember, but every once in a while they catch up with me and I find myself on the floor, hands in my hair, too scared to for another step, another breath, another day. The walls are caving in. I'm scared. I can't.
"Because a sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me."
I may have been under attack this week, but God picked me up off the ground again tonight. He took me in His arms and breathed His strength into me so I could stand up again. My heart was pierced with doubt and fear, but He took those arrows and hurled them far away. He mended me again.
My soul was dirty once. These feelings of insecurity and guilt were valid once. Before the blood of Christ washed me clean and made me a friend of God, I had every reason to doubt myself. I was nothing. But that time has passed, and it's time I stopped living as if a slave to sin and hurt.
Remember this, friends... if you are under attack, there is hope.
You are not alone, and your victory is in Christ.
"Hallelujah, hallelujah... Praise the One risen Son of God."
I've been under attack this week. In keeping with the theme of my last post... arrows have been flying. Sharp, flaming arrows that instill doubt, insecurity, fear, anger, guilt, and desperation in any heart they pierce. They've been flying, and I got hit.
Recently I wrote about a verse in Psalm 91, which says not to be afraid of Satan's arrows. But I never said the arrows wouldn't strike. I've been struck down more times than I can count, but I have nothing to fear because God revives me. He does.
But it still hurts to get knocked down.
"When Satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there, who made an end of all my sin."
It's so easy to be consumed with the "what if's."
What if this doesn't work out the way I planned?
What if I get hurt?
What if I mess up?
What if I'm not good enough?
I've been running from those questions for as long as I can remember, but every once in a while they catch up with me and I find myself on the floor, hands in my hair, too scared to for another step, another breath, another day. The walls are caving in. I'm scared. I can't.
"Because a sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me."
I may have been under attack this week, but God picked me up off the ground again tonight. He took me in His arms and breathed His strength into me so I could stand up again. My heart was pierced with doubt and fear, but He took those arrows and hurled them far away. He mended me again.
My soul was dirty once. These feelings of insecurity and guilt were valid once. Before the blood of Christ washed me clean and made me a friend of God, I had every reason to doubt myself. I was nothing. But that time has passed, and it's time I stopped living as if a slave to sin and hurt.
Remember this, friends... if you are under attack, there is hope.
You are not alone, and your victory is in Christ.
"Hallelujah, hallelujah... Praise the One risen Son of God."
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
The arrow that flies by day.
Psalms, without doubt, is one of my most beloved books of the Bible.
I know it's cliche, and I don't care. I am, by nature, an anxious young woman with the heart of a musician; therefore, I am nothing short of smitten by the fact that there is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to songs of desperation, hope, and praise. The Psalms are filled with every possible emotion, reaching into even the darkest corners of the human heart. I love it.
A few years ago, I was struggling a lot with nightmares. My dreams were vivid and terrifying. I hated it. One night, I awoke from one of these horrible nightmares completely paralyzed. It was somewhere around 3 a.m. I could not move. I stared in the direction of the ceiling for about fifteen minutes before I gathered the courage to move my arm just enough to turn on a lamp. I quickly grabbed my Bible, thankful that I had kept it by my bed that night. Some of the fear ran away the second my fingers touched the leather cover. Still terrified, though, I flipped through the pages, desperate for relief.
I landed on Psalm 91 and started to read. At the time, I didn't know what that Psalm was about, I only knew that it was right there in front of me and I needed the inspired Word of God more than oxygen.
That night, my dream had been filled with death. So when I read the words...
though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, those evils will not touch you.
...I was stunned at the way that God had used Scripture to speak directly to me.
I experienced the same kind of terror a few weeks later. I timidly switched the lamp on again and turned to the same Psalm, and another verse jumped out at me. I don't know how I missed it the first time.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.
I slept with my Bible under my pillow for months after that, but I've never experienced that kind of terror again.
Those verses popped into my mind the other day when I was starting to become afraid just thinking about my life and my future. Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
Truly, my life has changed for the better this year. I am a healthier person, filled with joy. I am far beyond blessed. I believe that this change is permanent, because this joy is from the Holy Spirit, who is eternal. But what am I going to do when things aren't so great? When relationships are strained, when school gets to be too much? When something goes horribly wrong because life on earth is never going to be perfect? What if the things that are making me happy right now come to a tragic end? What if I lose it all?
Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
I am going to face challenges. I have gone through the valley before and I will go through it again. I am going to be hurt. As long as I am on this earth, the arrows of Satan will never stop flying.
So I have a choice here. I could live in dread of what may come, ducking and hiding away from each trial that attempts to pierce my soul. OR. I could enjoy each blessing that God has given me and use my life to joyfully bring glory to Him, whatever may come.
I could be afraid of the arrow that flies by day, or I could not.
I choose the latter.
I choose joy. I choose life. I choose fearlessness. I choose the armor that cannot be damaged.
Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
Something I've been learning lately is that I'm far too controlling. The fear of all that is out of my hands- which, if we're being honest, is everything- is a burden which does not belong on me. You see, I'm loved by a greater One, the God who sent His only Son to ransom me.
I choose Christ.
-Sam-
I know it's cliche, and I don't care. I am, by nature, an anxious young woman with the heart of a musician; therefore, I am nothing short of smitten by the fact that there is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to songs of desperation, hope, and praise. The Psalms are filled with every possible emotion, reaching into even the darkest corners of the human heart. I love it.
A few years ago, I was struggling a lot with nightmares. My dreams were vivid and terrifying. I hated it. One night, I awoke from one of these horrible nightmares completely paralyzed. It was somewhere around 3 a.m. I could not move. I stared in the direction of the ceiling for about fifteen minutes before I gathered the courage to move my arm just enough to turn on a lamp. I quickly grabbed my Bible, thankful that I had kept it by my bed that night. Some of the fear ran away the second my fingers touched the leather cover. Still terrified, though, I flipped through the pages, desperate for relief.
I landed on Psalm 91 and started to read. At the time, I didn't know what that Psalm was about, I only knew that it was right there in front of me and I needed the inspired Word of God more than oxygen.
That night, my dream had been filled with death. So when I read the words...
though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, those evils will not touch you.
...I was stunned at the way that God had used Scripture to speak directly to me.
I experienced the same kind of terror a few weeks later. I timidly switched the lamp on again and turned to the same Psalm, and another verse jumped out at me. I don't know how I missed it the first time.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.
I slept with my Bible under my pillow for months after that, but I've never experienced that kind of terror again.
Those verses popped into my mind the other day when I was starting to become afraid just thinking about my life and my future. Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
Truly, my life has changed for the better this year. I am a healthier person, filled with joy. I am far beyond blessed. I believe that this change is permanent, because this joy is from the Holy Spirit, who is eternal. But what am I going to do when things aren't so great? When relationships are strained, when school gets to be too much? When something goes horribly wrong because life on earth is never going to be perfect? What if the things that are making me happy right now come to a tragic end? What if I lose it all?
Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
I am going to face challenges. I have gone through the valley before and I will go through it again. I am going to be hurt. As long as I am on this earth, the arrows of Satan will never stop flying.
So I have a choice here. I could live in dread of what may come, ducking and hiding away from each trial that attempts to pierce my soul. OR. I could enjoy each blessing that God has given me and use my life to joyfully bring glory to Him, whatever may come.
I could be afraid of the arrow that flies by day, or I could not.
I choose the latter.
I choose joy. I choose life. I choose fearlessness. I choose the armor that cannot be damaged.
Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
Something I've been learning lately is that I'm far too controlling. The fear of all that is out of my hands- which, if we're being honest, is everything- is a burden which does not belong on me. You see, I'm loved by a greater One, the God who sent His only Son to ransom me.
I choose Christ.
-Sam-
The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.
When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation."
Psalm 91:14-16
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