I think most every young woman, while still single, wonders at one point or another what it would be like to be married. Thoughts like those have never really consumed my mind, but I'll admit that I've thought about it more recently- especially because I have been blessed with several friends lately that are already happily married, though not much older than me. I've found myself wondering what it could be like to have a man love me so much that he wants to be with me forever. I've wondered what it would feel like to have that same kind of love for him. As someone who has never been in love or even in a committed relationship with a guy, the idea of that kind of love truly seems like a fairy-tale.
I was doing some mindless homework for one of my summer classes the other day, and my mind wandered again to that fairy-tale land, thinking about what love would feel like. After a few moments, God threw a thought into my head- something He has been doing a lot more often now that I have begun to pray more consistently and spend time in His word.
The thought was this: I'm already in love.
I've spent the majority of my teen years saying I'm in love with Christ. Growing up around the people that I have, that was just the thing to say. I'd always feel a twinge of guilt when I said it, because I knew that I wasn't always faithful to Him. But in that moment, only about a week ago, I felt like it hit me what it is to actually be in love.
I have dedicated my life to the Lord. He has completely changed me. My relationship with God defines who I am. I have walked away from Him because I thought I knew how to be happy by myself, but have run back into His open arms because I love Him too much to be apart from Him.
I can't know joy, love, peace, or comfort without the Lord.
I'm already in Love.
So does that mean I'm "cheating" on him when I love a man on this earth? No. If I get married, will I be "breaking up" with God for my husband? Absolutely not! And that's the thing that I think I'm finally beginning to grasp. God loves me with a perfect, constant Love that nothing can separate me from (Romans 8:38-39). He blesses me with a Love that I could never come up with on my own, so that I can give it back to Him. There is no sin in marrying a man if I know that my relationship with Him will bring glory to God. Isn't that what we're made for- to glorify God?
It all goes back to letting my thoughts and words and actions be pleasing to God. If I do come to know a man that can be my husband and partner in worshiping and glorifying God, that is not leaving God. Instead, it's using everything that He has blessed me with- every joy, every love, everything- to please Him more.
Now, as a single young woman, I want to do everything I can to bring glory to my God, who I am absolutely in love with. And if God blesses with a man to stand beside so that we can worship God with even more love, I'll still be in Love with Him. I'm already in Love. And let me tell you this: there is nothing more beautiful than knowing that God loves me, too...forever.
