Trusting God is hard.
Oh, I'm sorry, did I say hard? I meant really hard.
My friends often call me a micro-manager, control freak, etc (all out of love, I'm sure). I like to have a plan and a list of rules to follow. I ask questions to the point of being obnoxious so that I can be absolutely certain that I am doing something the right way. I recently spent a considerable amount of time at a coffee shop determining exactly where each of my friends would sit once they got there- and no, fifteen minutes later, no one actually sat in their designated spot.
My life is not currently going according to the plan that I've had in my head since I was 12. I'm still living at home, I've never had a boyfriend, and I am not a famous singer. Twelve-year-old me would be appalled.
Sometimes, 19-year-old me is appalled. Am I doing something wrong?
The answer is, no, I'm not doing something wrong just because my life isn't going according to my original plan. Instead, God is doing something right- all the time. Not a moment of my life has slipped through His fingers, and He has repeatedly proven his omniscient power to me. The Lord is truly the perfect Author of life.
I know that I tend to skim through blog posts when they are too long, so I'm going to break this particular subject into 3 parts which are the most relevant to my life right now, so that they will be easier to read. The posts will be based on that twelve-year-old's "plan gone wrong"- living at home, never had a boyfriend, and not a famous singer. I hope that God will use my words to convey to you even more reasons that He is trustworthy.
Trusting God is hard, but it is worth it.
Part 1: Still at Home
Part 2: Never Had a Boyfriend
Part 3: Not a Famous Singer
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Rain, Rain...You Can Stay
It's raining outside. As opposed to inside, which I guess is good.
That was so cheesy. I'm sorry.
Rainy days make me feel especially productive, so I sit down with my laptop, planner, and notebooks and other productive things like pens and pencils
...and I watch re-runs of Gilmore Girls. It's great, really.
I've been thinking lately about the fact that most of my blog entries end in a definite conclusion which makes it seem like I've figured it all out.
Figured it out? Me? That's funny. I'm not interested in putting all of my personal troubles out on the internet for the world to see, but I'm willing to shout it from the mountaintops that I am not perfect.
The thing is that today is actually the first day this semester that I haven't been stressed out enough to cry at any given point of the day. I wish that was an exaggeration, but it is not. I've been worrying so much about grades, projects, music lessons, etc. that I have often been anxious to the point of physical sickness.
I went to bed early last night and got a lot more sleep than I'm used to. That's probably a lot of why I'm feeling so great today. Before I went to sleep, though, I prayed my nightly prayer for justice and the end of modern-day slavery (find out more about that here). Then, as I dozed off, I added something else. In my sleepy state, I prayed (in words far less eloquent) that God would take my hurt, broken, anxious heart and turn it into something beautiful.
He's good at that.
You see, God took that simple cry for help and answered it today. Despite the fact that all of the reasons for my stress yesterday still exist today, I feel more peaceful.
- "And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?" -Matthew 6:30
- Why did I have so little faith?
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Immeasurably More
I'm going to be really honest with you guys. Here goes:
I have no idea how to write a blog post about Passion 2013.
That would be a huge part of the reason that I haven't written one yet, though Passion ended nearly three weeks ago (all other reasons being summed up into the fact that I am absolutely swamped with homework this semester). But seriously, how does a single person write a post about that experience? It was four days of complete immersion in worship through music and Bible study and a little bit of self-sacrifice. Someone other than me might be able to sum up the whole event in a beautiful post that leaves you feeling like you went there yourself. Nope, not me. Although, I probably could sum up what the event meant to my physical body in one word: COLD.
It's going to take several posts for me to scratch the surface of what I learned at Passion. This sounds- and is- cliche, but I truly did return from the Georgia Dome as a new and refreshed human being. I felt lighter, with more faith than I've ever had before. I'm not ashamed of the cliche; instead, I'm incredibly grateful that something like Passion exists. I have no doubt that God uses it for great things. Mine was not the only life changed as a result of Passion 2013.
One of the passages of Scripture that was used as a focus for the week was Ephesians 3:20-21.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ever ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen."
This passage is not one that I had ever given much thought to prior to Passion. However, on the morning of January 3rd, my community group (PURPLE) focused on every aspect of the passage and discussed it with our wonderful family groups. During that time, a visual of what that Scripture really means came into my head.
This is how I see it on a tangible scale:
Put your hands out in front of you and place your thumbs and fingertips together so that your hands form a circle. That's the size of my average problem.
Now, break that circle by pulling your hands away from each other and creating the illusion of a slightly larger circle than before. When I take my problems, sorrows, and even joys to God, that's about how much I expect Him to do with them. I was raised to believe that God can and will do more than I hope for when I cast my burdens on Him. That's the image of God that I have grown accustomed to, and sometimes even tragically take for granted. But if you look at that circle, you'll see that I still put limits on God, even when I know He'll do more than I ask, because I believe He'll do only that much more.
Now take your hands away from that circle, that boundary that I have put on God, and imagine brushing it away and making those walls disappear. That's what God does. He is not limited by any boundary, even if that boundary is outside of what we can imagine as human beings. He is the God of the immeasurably more.
That was one of the lessons that I am most grateful to have learned at Passion. I have grown so much in my faith, and I pray that I'll continue to do so.
God isn't limited to anything- not even moving mountains. He is able to do immeasurably more.
And He does.
I have no idea how to write a blog post about Passion 2013.
That would be a huge part of the reason that I haven't written one yet, though Passion ended nearly three weeks ago (all other reasons being summed up into the fact that I am absolutely swamped with homework this semester). But seriously, how does a single person write a post about that experience? It was four days of complete immersion in worship through music and Bible study and a little bit of self-sacrifice. Someone other than me might be able to sum up the whole event in a beautiful post that leaves you feeling like you went there yourself. Nope, not me. Although, I probably could sum up what the event meant to my physical body in one word: COLD.
It's going to take several posts for me to scratch the surface of what I learned at Passion. This sounds- and is- cliche, but I truly did return from the Georgia Dome as a new and refreshed human being. I felt lighter, with more faith than I've ever had before. I'm not ashamed of the cliche; instead, I'm incredibly grateful that something like Passion exists. I have no doubt that God uses it for great things. Mine was not the only life changed as a result of Passion 2013.
One of the passages of Scripture that was used as a focus for the week was Ephesians 3:20-21.
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ever ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen."
This passage is not one that I had ever given much thought to prior to Passion. However, on the morning of January 3rd, my community group (PURPLE) focused on every aspect of the passage and discussed it with our wonderful family groups. During that time, a visual of what that Scripture really means came into my head.
This is how I see it on a tangible scale:
Put your hands out in front of you and place your thumbs and fingertips together so that your hands form a circle. That's the size of my average problem.
Now, break that circle by pulling your hands away from each other and creating the illusion of a slightly larger circle than before. When I take my problems, sorrows, and even joys to God, that's about how much I expect Him to do with them. I was raised to believe that God can and will do more than I hope for when I cast my burdens on Him. That's the image of God that I have grown accustomed to, and sometimes even tragically take for granted. But if you look at that circle, you'll see that I still put limits on God, even when I know He'll do more than I ask, because I believe He'll do only that much more.
Now take your hands away from that circle, that boundary that I have put on God, and imagine brushing it away and making those walls disappear. That's what God does. He is not limited by any boundary, even if that boundary is outside of what we can imagine as human beings. He is the God of the immeasurably more.
That was one of the lessons that I am most grateful to have learned at Passion. I have grown so much in my faith, and I pray that I'll continue to do so.
God isn't limited to anything- not even moving mountains. He is able to do immeasurably more.
And He does.
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