Wednesday, July 10, 2013

And if our God is for us...

A couple of weeks ago on a Friday, I smiled as I knelt to place my guitar in its case after singing "Our God" with 75 very brave kiddos.  Behind me, I heard them shout in unison,

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!

Thinking about that moment sends joy through every part of me for two reasons.  Reason número uno is that I find so much peace in the fact that those words are true, always, for every follower of Christ.  The second reason, though, is more relative to the context of that day.  That particular Friday was the last day of Camp Hope, a week-long day camp for kids with cancer.  The camp was run by Jay's Hope, a fantastic organization which is now very close to my heart.  The campers had memorized that verse- Philippians 4:13- over the course of the week, and could say it backwards and forwards.  Those kids probably found more hope in those eleven words than I ever have.  They are fighting no small battle.  Though most, in their innocence, may not fully understand the gravity of their situations, they definitely feel the physical effects of the cancer.  And the patients' siblings, who also attended the camp, see the physical weakness of their brother or sister and it makes them sad and/or scared.  The camp was a time for the kids to get away from the hospital and have all kinds of fun.  In between all the sports, art, music, and dancing, the kids learned about how much God cares for them.  The promise of strength in Christ has a very special beauty in this context.

This verse has been popping up a lot in my life lately.  I certainly do not want to direct any attention away from the message of miraculous strength which was delivered to those precious children, but I would like to share something I learned about God's strength in me during Camp Hope.

Originally, I was supposed to lead worship for the campers in the mornings before they split into their teams and went to stations such as art and sports.  I was so excited.  Then, I was asked to also teach music classes for the kids, and I was scared.  At first, my answer was "No." I didn't have the knowledge or the resources, I explained.  I wouldn't know where to start.  I'd love to, I said, next year after I know more about teaching (Elementary Music Education, if you don't know, is the degree I'm currently pursuing)- but not this year.  I believed that I was not equipped to do it.

A couple of weeks before the camp, the search for a music teacher was still on.  I heard myself saying I would do it.  I was confident that the amazing ladies behind Jay's Hope, as well as the two wonderfully sweet women who volunteered in the class, would help me and that they would be encouraging rather than judgmental of my shortcomings.  The timing was perfect, as it was right after I had had a breakthrough in my relationship with God and my tendency to worry had practically vanished.  I never regretted saying yes.  After agreeing to teach the music classes, I kept waiting for the crippling fear to come; however, it never did, which is my first piece of evidence that God's strength is abundant.

I was nervous, though.  A few days before teaching the first class, I was working on lesson plans and wondering what on earth I thought I was doing.  I'm nineteen years old.  I've had, what, two education classes?  I didn't know anything about teaching music.  But the time for the first class came anyway and so I did it.  I loved it, but here's the kicker- despite my nerves and lack of experience, I was fully equipped.  Every day, the three classes I taught went smoothly and we had a blast. Why?  Because God's on my side.  It was certainly not through my own abilities, but rather the gifts He's blessed me with. Leading worship and teaching music is what He's called me to do.  My lack of credentials could not possibly concern Him any less.  He wanted to bless those kids, and He wasn't afraid to use me to do it.  That blows my mind.

I am so glad that I put my faith in God and took the opportunity to not only to lead those wonderful kids in worship, but also to teach them more about music.  Though I was filled with so much doubt at first, that is all washed away now as I think about that week.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

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