Moments.

The world is moving in slow motion today.

I've been back in my hometown for a week now, and I have almost completely recovered from the most eventful semester of my life.  Almost.  As a true nerd, I will know that my recovery has reached fruition when I actually come upon the desire to go back to school.  I'm not there yet, but I can see that day quickly approaching... even in the midst of my very real Post-Finals Week Stress Disorder (PFWSD).  

Being at home again is a little strange [and that, in itself, is a little strange because I never thought I'd say that. What's going on?].  Whenever I would go back and forth between here and my apartment during the semester, I felt as if I was switching back and forth between two completely separate realities.  The two places have very little in common outside of the fact that both are home to me now.  I never was forced to choose between them- it's as if my heart has grown to encompass all that both places have to offer.  I still feel that way; indeed, part of my heart remains in Milledgeville even while I sit here in the house where I grew up.  It's a good feeling to look forward to the day I get to go back.

Looking back at the beginning of the semester, I can hardly believe it was only four months ago.  What was life before Milledgeville?  Before living with roommates and riding a shuttle to school every day?  Before cleaning the kitchen of my own will and buying my own groceries?  Before I knew the people there?  How did I live my life without those people as my friends?  It surpasses my understanding that so much could change in 120 days.

So many memorable moments are racing around in my head as I think about my first few months at Georgia College.  Some are happy, some painful, some just funny.  All were significant, and most shaped me into who I am right now.  Here are a few:

• The moment when I realized I was on my own.  It was only a couple of hours after I had arrived at the apartment, and I was walking from my kitchen to my bedroom.  I was stunned by the fact that all I had to eat was Ramen noodles and the only way I would have something else is if I went out and bought it for myself.  Yep, that's when I knew.
• My first time at First Baptist Church, when I knew I had walked in on a group of very special people.  I was right.
• The morning that I skipped class to sleep in (don't worry, I was punished by the fact that my professor apparently brought donuts that day), then got up to turn the heater on for the first time since living there because I was freezing.  Not 30 seconds later, the smoke alarms were screaming and I was running around frantically trying to make them stop and deciding whether or not I needed to run for my life.  Apparently, this is a regular thing when you turn the heater on for the first time every year.  Now I know. 
• The moment when all the changes, stress, and fear came together in what felt an awful lot like a panic attack, and I prayed so that I could breathe.
• The first time in at least five years that I've called someone other than my mom or dad to cry.  It was one of my two roommates, who put me on speakerphone so that both could listen and talk to me and remind me that God was in control.  I won't forget that.  I'm so grateful for those two.
• My first day of classroom observation for my education class.  Since I was homeschooled from kindergarten to my high school graduation, that was my first time in a high school classroom.  I was maybe a little bit scared of mean girls. *ahem* BUT I SURVIVED
• The many moments spent laughing until I couldn't breathe, because my friend Morgan is one of the funniest people I've ever met.
• My first time playing a saxophone.  I should stick with the piano, which does not require assembly and which also does not scream at you if you play it wrong.  GOSH.
• The moment I became confident in the gifts God has given me as a musician.   

There are so many more.  It was this semester, through these moments, that I grew into who I am today.  I still have a lot to learn, and I always will.  But I am happy to say that in these four short months, I learned to have a grateful heart and enjoy the little things.  I was reminded that when I don't trust God with everything, everything falls apart.  Then I was reminded that when everything falls apart, God is still there to make it all new.  

I learned joy, grace, love... I've been made new.  I am so glad.

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.

-Isaiah 43:19-