To talk about this year, and what it has been for me...where do I even begin?
I might dare to say that I have never been through so many changes in one year in my life. The girl that I am today hardly recognizes the girl that I was on this day in 2010. A lot more has changed than just the way I dress and the kind of music that I like. God has absolutely turned my life around, and changed me from the inside out.
On December 19, 2010, I rededicated my life to the Lord. I didn't tell many people- everyone already knew that I was a Christian. I grew up in church, I've always loved God, and I knew what it was to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. But on that day, that relationship took on a new meaning. The fact that His Grace had saved me finally hit home. The Freedom I have in Him, and yet the duty that I have to Him as my Lord, meshed into something that I was, and am, completely in awe of. I won't forget that night, when I silently bowed my head and told my God that I repented, and that I loved Him, and that from that moment on I would serve Him.
It was on that foot that I started the new year. And for that reason, it started out well. Judging from my journal entries, I'd say the spiritual high lasted until just after the new year. Then, Satan's attacks started to affect me a bit more.
So began the roller coaster that we called 2011. On January 1, 2011, I was about to enter my last semester of high school. Tomorrow, January 1, 2012, I will be preparing for my second semester of college. This year, I turned 18- finally an adult. I discovered my love for writing, and embraced my passion for music even more. I lost friends, made incredible new friends, and developed better relationships with some of the people that I have known for years. I learned more about the person that God has chosen me to be. I settled on a career decision that makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. I started going to a new church that is such a blessing to me that it warms my heart to even think of it.
My God never changed, not once. Maybe what I learned more than anything this year is how constant He is. He is the same loving, merciful, righteous, and powerful God today as he was yesterday and will be tomorrow. That truth never changes.
This year has been one of the hardest of my life. There have been times that I found myself in a mess that I had no clue how to clean up. But, looking back, this year has also been one of the best. It was this year that I found myself. It was this year that I found what it truly is to have joy, freedom, and love in Jesus Christ my Lord. I made a lot of mistakes this year, and did things I am not proud of. God always forgave me, and never stopped loving me. He has the power to make me new- to wash me clean of the filth that I am covered in by my sinful nature, and to create in me a clean and pure heart that is perfect in His sight. And that is what He has done. It is with the strength that He gives me that I face 2012 with open arms.
-Ecclesiastes 3:11
New Year's Resolution for 2012:
Live my life in a way that pleases my God, and serve Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.
"...a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people." -Romans 2:29
