I know it's cliche, and I don't care. I am, by nature, an anxious young woman with the heart of a musician; therefore, I am nothing short of smitten by the fact that there is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to songs of desperation, hope, and praise. The Psalms are filled with every possible emotion, reaching into even the darkest corners of the human heart. I love it.
A few years ago, I was struggling a lot with nightmares. My dreams were vivid and terrifying. I hated it. One night, I awoke from one of these horrible nightmares completely paralyzed. It was somewhere around 3 a.m. I could not move. I stared in the direction of the ceiling for about fifteen minutes before I gathered the courage to move my arm just enough to turn on a lamp. I quickly grabbed my Bible, thankful that I had kept it by my bed that night. Some of the fear ran away the second my fingers touched the leather cover. Still terrified, though, I flipped through the pages, desperate for relief.
I landed on Psalm 91 and started to read. At the time, I didn't know what that Psalm was about, I only knew that it was right there in front of me and I needed the inspired Word of God more than oxygen.
That night, my dream had been filled with death. So when I read the words...
though a thousand fall at your side, though ten thousand are dying around you, those evils will not touch you.
...I was stunned at the way that God had used Scripture to speak directly to me.
I experienced the same kind of terror a few weeks later. I timidly switched the lamp on again and turned to the same Psalm, and another verse jumped out at me. I don't know how I missed it the first time.
Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day.
I slept with my Bible under my pillow for months after that, but I've never experienced that kind of terror again.
Those verses popped into my mind the other day when I was starting to become afraid just thinking about my life and my future. Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
Truly, my life has changed for the better this year. I am a healthier person, filled with joy. I am far beyond blessed. I believe that this change is permanent, because this joy is from the Holy Spirit, who is eternal. But what am I going to do when things aren't so great? When relationships are strained, when school gets to be too much? When something goes horribly wrong because life on earth is never going to be perfect? What if the things that are making me happy right now come to a tragic end? What if I lose it all?
Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
I am going to face challenges. I have gone through the valley before and I will go through it again. I am going to be hurt. As long as I am on this earth, the arrows of Satan will never stop flying.
So I have a choice here. I could live in dread of what may come, ducking and hiding away from each trial that attempts to pierce my soul. OR. I could enjoy each blessing that God has given me and use my life to joyfully bring glory to Him, whatever may come.
I could be afraid of the arrow that flies by day, or I could not.
I choose the latter.
I choose joy. I choose life. I choose fearlessness. I choose the armor that cannot be damaged.
Do not be afraid of the arrow that flies by day.
Something I've been learning lately is that I'm far too controlling. The fear of all that is out of my hands- which, if we're being honest, is everything- is a burden which does not belong on me. You see, I'm loved by a greater One, the God who sent His only Son to ransom me.
I choose Christ.
-Sam-
The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name.
When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation."
Psalm 91:14-16
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